you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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