CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
