Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Randomize
