i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
