I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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