Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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