a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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