I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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