Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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