omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
