Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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