At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
