So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
