My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize