Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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