I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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