I should be sponsored by Trojan
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
