So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
