so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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