he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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