He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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