me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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