i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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