Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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