Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
