Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
