At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
