I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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