The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
