Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
