who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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