your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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