I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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