I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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