This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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