Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
