So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
