Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
