Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
