margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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