Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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