How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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