man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
