its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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