I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
