WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize