we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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