I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize