I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
