You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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