Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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