So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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