piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
