thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night