East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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