5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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