Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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