Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
