this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
