I'm jealous of your bromance
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Randomize
