I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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