We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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