that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
