marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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