I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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