where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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